Playing God.

Yesterday, I was collecting money for the Tralee branch of Amnesty International, via bucket collection. As it was a bucket collection, it didn’t entail stopping customers, merely sitting in the one spot and interacting with those who donate and asked questions, by choice. Despite this lack of intereference on our part, one man decided he would interfere with us. He approached the table enquiring as to what Amnesty was. He seemed quite hesitant but I assumed this was just due to his confusion of what we were. I began to explain about the various actions we do. I explained about the Human Rights Activisits in Malawi who were under threat of death, and how we sent money to them so they could get round the clock protection. I was half way through explaining the death penalty actions when he suddenly interrupted saying “Ye’re after the babys. Ye want abortions and all that ole stuff”. Shook his head and walked away, while I was still mid-sentence.

Now I’m all for freedom of speech, but I think that should include listening to the other persons views too and engaging in some form of discussion. Not cutting someone off mid-sentence, making one single-minded point as if thats all Amnesty does, and then walking off once you’ve had your say. I was really not happy about that incident and hoped noone else would react this badly.

Then he came back a second time to say ” You’re by the way doing good but killing babys”, to which I replied “No, this is the Tralee Amnesty branch, we sent aid to countries that need it and our main campaign at the moment is getting rid of the death penalty”. I proceeded to pick up the petition against the death penalty and was (AGAIN) still speaking when he said “No you’re killing babies, thats all your about”, so I gave up and said “Im just trying to do a job here” and stopped engaging in vain attempts to get through to his ignorant head. A nice lady came over so I spoke to her instead, and he began to wander off, but not without saying one last time ” you’re killing babies”.

In my opinion, that was the height of ignorance and rudeness. To approach me twice with this verbal attack, while I’m just trying to collect money for a cause, alone. There were other collectors but they were all older, and many in groups. To target the youngest and a person on their own is just cowardly. If you’re really bursting to share your opinion that much, why not get two ears instead of one. After the first time he approached I considered that maybe he just felt strongly about this particular issue and felt compelled to say something. But the second instance was just pure rudeness. I was making good points, and he ignored them all because he just wanted to focus on one issue that he could pick fault with. (He could hardly have a problem with a petition against the death penalty or sending aid to people that need it.) But I also told him that this was the Tralee Branch of Amnesty, and if he had the decency to listen who would’ve realised this meant that we don’t have anything to do with abortion, because Ireland said no to Abortion. Therefore we don’t do any work on abortion, but other Amnesty International committes in other countries do.  If he’d listened to what I was telling him about the work that we do, he would’ve understood that there is no requirement to be involved in every campaign, so even if Irish Amnesty was pro-abortion, this mighn’t mean I was involved in any way, with that particular area. He wasted both our time due to his own ignorance. Thats why I think its important for freedom of speech to include active listening, otherwise whats the point. You’re not going to learn anything, or understand the other person, or have any kind of worthwhile conversation.

I find that peoples attitudes towards other charities can be quite disheartening too. I work in a charity shop, Threshold. A few times people have tried to bargain down the prices of items and have become quite hostile when we haven’t complied to their wishes. This despite the fact that there are numerous large signs around the shop stating that we cannot bring the prices down any lower than they are. 95% of items are 0.50c – €6. The only prices higher than that are when we recieve expensive items like garden equipment, and even at that, the most expensive tends to be €20, even though they’re brand new, still in the box and worth €50-€60. Its generally items that are in the €2-€3 region that become a problem. People seem to forget this isn’t a shop with a sale on. Its a charity shop raising money for Homeless people. Threshold stores in Ireland overall save 2 homes from becoming homeless daily. They really depend on the funds from their shops to raise the majority of this money. I think its wrong, personally, for people to try and bargain items to lower prices when the proceeds are going to such a good cause. I know its a recession but these prices are really good value and many items are brand new, or at least in the best of condition. However little money someone might have, someone who is homeless has a lot less. People seem to forget that..

Real People are Never Fake, and Fake People are Never Real.

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things that we do”. More and more people seem to be adapting to the idea of smiling to someone’s face, while badmouthing them at the next opportunity. Sometimes there are reasons behind the comments. Underlying issues caused by betrayl, lies, arguments, previously overheard comments about oneself, on their part. The list goes on. Other times, there are no reasons as such. This fits under the catergory of “previously overheard comments about onself”- which starts a vicious cycel of backstabbing comments, with smiling faces and polite chit-chat in public.

But why? If you’re going to the effort of putting issues aside for pretence sake, ask the dutiful questions, laugh at their jokes, write a friendly ole message on their facebook wall, why not make the effort to leave all ill-feeling behind overall. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t play the martyr in private and run to their every beck and call in public. If you’re brave enough to call them out for whatever issue, have some consistency. Stop being fake.

Often it is the case that these people will only collect more reasons to badmouth their “allies”, by pursuing this public pretence. If these undeniable issues exist why continuously fuel the fire. Either learn to handle their “abuse” or learn to be real.

New Year, New You.

Its that time of year of year again, where the slates wiped clean and we can all start again (unless your Chinese, then you have another month to go). Theres a certain sense of optimism in the creation of New Years resolutions, whether you’re off to the gym, starting a new hobby or vowing to end night before essays forever. I like this part of New Years.

However then theres the part where people start judging the previous year and putting expectations on the year to come. I’m not belittling anyones problems but I don’t think we should condemn an entire year of our lives based on a few bad experiences. That said I’m sure are there people who’ve had exceptionally hard times and associate the year with bad experiences, but my point is we shouldn’t forget the positive times either.

Another new years tradition, as I mentioned, is demanding perfection from the year to come. I see Facebook groups such as “like if you fucked up in 2010″, but life doesn’t suddenly become perfect because the year number changes. Theres always going to be some things out of your control, but you can always improve bits and pieces. There will always be good and bad elements, but neither eliminates the other. Saying 2010 was the worst year ever sometimes makes you forget the good times in between.

All in all, I think 2010 was a pretty good year. I started college in the course I love, moved to Cork (more H&M Time woo) , made some epic new friends, met my favorite band and lots more. Sure there were bad times too but I wouldn’t write off the whole year for it, you can’t overlook the amazing times. Sometimes we need to take a step back and appreciate what we do have and focus on that, so we can start of the year on that positive note.

The art of thinking independently together.

I recently read up on the opinions of the traditional catholic belief, assuming it was pretty similar to the general catholic church. I was surprised that their views were much stronger than this, but what bothered me was their views on society. One particular bishop openly advocates holocaust denial and is very much in favor of adhering to strict gender roles. A practice which is very damaging to the diversity and development of the individual.

He basically outlines women should not be allowed wear trousers or shorts, attend college or university or have careers. As for men, he believes a huge emphasis should be placed on “manliness”, as if we didn’t have enough brainwashing advertisments as it is.

Religion should be about bettering oneself as a person and inter-person relationships. I fail to see how wearing a skirt makes someone a better person.  It appears to be quite superficial to place emphasis on gender roles here. Femininity and masculinity are not concepts that alter a persons conscience.

Appearances Can Be Deceptive.

Beauty is truth, truth beauty. But is that the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?  Girl wakes up on the morning of her Debs/Wedding/significant occasion, to realise she is now the proud owner of a spot the size of Mount Everest. Panic ensues and the troops are called in. 2 hours later all is well once more. Where would we be without the deception of make up?

Often we tend to  stereotype people in accordance with their clothing. On viewing an outfit our inner psychologist emerges and analyses a person’s personality and life within moments. Black and emos, tracksuits and chavs, piercings and Goths. Just like that its assumed people are exactly what they say on the tin. What you see isn’t necessarily the full story. After all, that  expensive looking ring could be merely a cheap imitation.

Who hasn’t been betrayed by someone they trusted completely. You need only eavesdrop on a conversation in changing rooms to hear a group of friends trying to coerce another from the sanctuary of their booth. When she finally agrees, they compliment her abundantly, she leaves to go purchase the outfit, and the conversation between the remainder will be quite different to their previous comments.

The serial killer in horrors is rarely the dark, mysterious individual who is automatically labelled killer material, but rather the quiet teen, or another unexpected character. Appearances can be deceptive. Careful or you’ll end up with a green finger.

I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was.

If it ’s not done better than my colleague, then it’s not worth doing at all.  More and more people are adapting this mentality. The worth of something is being  judged by how well we’ve outdone our “competition”. People compete to get better grades than their classmates, to look prettier than their best friend, to have a better car than their neighbour. A sense of achievement is no longer found in doing something well, in fully utilising ones abilities. Satisfaction is reached only in beating someone else.

Famous sportspeople are glorified, praised and treated like God, until they lose, and the fans that once pledged eternal allegiance are no longer interested.

Competition is all well and good, but theres a stage when it becomes unhealthy. We shouldn’t need to feel the need to constantly search for praise, approval and recognition.

Too old, too soon.

Once upon a time 12 year olds watched Pokemon, played with Barbie or Action Men and firmly believed the opposite sex was infested with cooties. Now they are Barbie. Bye bye Pokemon, hello uploading 50 duckface photos to Bebo. They’ve gone from dressing Barbie, to dressing their friends, as an initiation into their group.

My sisters friend turned 12 a few months ago. In her mind she turned 18. This year as they all went Christmas shopping for things like cd’s, books or whichever presents they had in mind, this girl took the opportunity to offer some “advice”. “God knows that child needs something decent in her wardrobe”. And so began the search for the most sequined, tacky, “fashionable” item of clothing possible. Alas, none of the clothes fitted and they had to resort to the child’s section. “How embarrassing”.

I’m not saying all 12 year olds are like this. Thankfully many have the sense or just lack of interest in such matters. But in some cases things have gone too far. One in five 11 year olds are trying to lose weight, purely because they see their idol Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan dieting. I know children from the age of 10 who have cried for days because they’ve broken up with their boyfriend, after a long-term relationship of 6 days.

I accept children are always going to seek to feel “grown up”. When I was handed my first locker key it was like being handed the keys to an apartment. There’s no harm in some innocent visualizations of adulthood/teenhood. It’s just when it becomes unhealthy and creates negative misinterpretations. More than 25,000 people use slut as their Bebo username. They’ve gotten the idea that this is cool or attractive and what they must be to gain a boy’s interest. There are no talks in schools facilitating  these issues. It isn’t until the age of 12 that these issues are discussed, by which time many have had the foundations of brainwashing from the media, older friends or teen magazines.

Various books and articles recently published suggest the solutions lie in increased involvement of parents and increased activity in sport. Interaction with younger children is ironically seen to be a good influence.

Forget Eastenders, Desperate Housewives and CSI. Remember the good old days of  Drake and Josh, Pokemon, and Zoey 101. You only get 12 years of childhood, and 7 teenage years. Why waste them?

Twilight.

I never and still don’t understand the Twilight obsession.  What started of as one book, turned into every type of merchandise imaginable. There’s the movie, soundtracks, millions of videos of youtube about it, websites, books on the making of the movie, books on the writing of the book, a book on the philosophy of Twilight, linking the plot to various philosophers. Its madness.

To be honest I thought the movie was pretty cliche. Girl meets boy. They can’t be together for some reason or other. Followed by a big event. Followed by a reunion and happy ending. Bella proved to an unbearably whinny character, spending the movie begging to be turned into a vampire.

Admitably some of the lines were awwable, but the majority were so OTT and the desperation of both characters to be together forever, was less than romantic.

New Moon on the other hand was miles better. The plot was much broader, introducing more characters and a more action filled plot. It just seemed a lot more realistic and believable than Twilights Romeo and Juliet style of talking for all of 5 minutes and suddenly being deeply in love.

So yeah. New Moon yes! Twilight no!

Farewell 2009

I admit there have been numerous times when I’ve condemned 2009 as the worst year ever. In hindsight I realize that was pretty harsh. It had its fair share of good moments. Paramore, Galway, The Rose of Tralee festival, various trips, one of the best Christmas’ and making new friends. Or getting closer to old friends.

Several times I’ve thought of ’09 as the year of fights and ended friendships. I can honestly say that I don’t regret any of those. There’s a difference between a friendship and a counseling session, and I’m not quite a psychologist yet. I’m happier. The Chamillionaires have been removed from my friends list and Itunes.

Heres to a drama-less 2010, where I might manage to study. And if we’re going to be materialistic a new phone wouldn’t hurt.

A Town Called Hypocrisy.

Wanted:  Pleasant 18 yr old. Good communication skills. Witty and trustworthy. Flexible hours. Loyalty and reliability essential. Apply within.

This is the ongoing advertisement within the mind of every teen, on the introduction to someone new. Everyone wants to be loyal. Everyone likes to think they are. But what is loyalty?

Loyalty; a sense of duty or of devoted attachment to something or someone. Disloyalty; a betrayal of trust. Disloyalty comes in different forms. There’s the friend who provides a plethora of compliments, meanwhile listing your 101 major flaws unbeknownst to you. There’s the friend who thinks loyalty is collective. “But I’m loyal to both of you”. Sorry but thats not how it works. Worst of all, we have the hypocrite. The one who proclaims undying love for loyalty, while not practicing what they preach.

Personally, I think loyalty is pivotal role of any friendship. It lays the foundations of trust. Who wants to see someone they care about getting hurt anyway?

You can’t expect something that you’re not willing yourself to give.